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Posts Tagged ‘smellin like hype’

Gregg Zaun, formerly Canadien, has been signed by the Baltimore Orioles.  He will earn 1.5 million dollars.  That’s a tidy sum.  He will start for the Orioles if they decide to hold back hype-inducing catcher Matt Wieters (recently named the number 1 prospect by Keith Law).

Implications:

1. Zaun is a pretty hilarious fantasy catcher. He’s actually the catcher-equivalent of Aubrey Huff, a player notorious for producing until you pick him up, at which point he hits .015 with 2 ribbies over two weeks. You drop him, someone else picks him up and starts producing again. Thus is the Aubrey Huff circle of life. Except with Zaun he’ll hit 5 home runs in 10 games, and then not hit any for the rest of the season. You don’t want him on your fantasy team.

2. It must be obnoxious to have every new report sum up this section of your career as “stop-gap.” Them’s the brakes. And because I can:

Zaun is a pawn in Mannys World

Zaun is a pawn in Manny's World

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Over this very short season, the DL has been lit up like a loose joint smoked by Scott Spiezio as he drives his pick-up truck backwards on the highway.

I drafted two guys (Gallardo, Owens) who were on the DL when the season began. And then my ace pitcher (Bedard) hit it. And then my scrubby closer (Borowski) hit it. And then my waiver closer Pete Moylan hit it. I think on one day I lost Bedard and the two closers, so yeah, I know what pain is.

Meanwhile, Eick’s pitching staff is literally BEGGING to hit the DL. Just last night, Ben Sheets remembered who he was and promptly left the game early with triceps soreness. I watched the game, and while he blanked the shit out of the Reds, he didn’t look like his overpowering self. I see the DL in his future…

Future guys on Eick’s staff destined for disability: AJ Burnett, Randy Johnson, Kerry Wood, and Brett Myers. You may think Myers is a weird pick, but try and tell me converting a starter to a closer BACK to a starter isn’t going to have a negative effect on a guy’s mentality and mechanics. Something will go wrong there. Not saying Eick doesn’t have some back ups, namely James Shields and Gil Meche, but sorry Eick, your goose is cooked. When your offense is comprised of DL stalwarts Troy Glaus, Gary Sheffield, Nick Johnson, Jeremy Hermida, and Joe Crede you have nothing to lean on.

Alfonso Soriano, Howie Kendrick, Jimmy Rollins and J.J. Putz have all been hit by the DL bus, so I’m not the only one missing key elements this early on.

I can’t wait to get my #1 and #3 starters back. I’m not sure how long Lincecum and Cueto can keep my pitching stats respectable…

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Paul Bako was definitely hit in the taint just now.

Good god. And he’s still catching.

Cueto is getting owned by Jason Kendall. Also, I really dislike Kenji Johjima right now. He just threw it into the outfield, allowing BJ Upton to score from home on a double steal. Idiot. And Bedard was charged with the runs, I believe. That’s wonderful. Only things like this can cheer me up.

PS- I love you Cueto, even though you smell like hype.

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