Posts Tagged ‘Seattle Mariners’

Ah, the season is so young and one should just rest on their wonderful laurels and watch their teams statistics grow. That is, unless you own Mike Gonzalez and Brian Fuentes for your closers, and realize right off the bat if you don’t trade for saves you’ll be pulling a solid 1 or 2 in a category. Which will not win a league, by god. Which brings me to my first trade this season:

I trade Mike Cameron to Zegen for Brandon Morrow

If you remember, I have so many outfielders I couldn’t start Mike Cameron. I did manage to slot him into my line-up when he hit two homers (BONER!) but otherwise his starts have been wasted. I have all 5 outfield spots covered by sweet stats (besides YOU Maggs, hit a double or something!), and I still have Markakis as my UTIL. So yeah, you could say I was dealing from a strength.

So, bye bye Mikey C. and hello Brandon Morrow. Morrow is intriguing, a guy who went from closer to starter to closer this year, and the ride was bumpy. However, the day I made the trade, literally right after I clicked “Accept,” Jason Grey had this to say about Mr. Morrow’s future:

On Friday, we saw the power of a fully armed and operational Morrow, as he retired the Tigers on 12 pitches (11 of them strikes) to earn his third save. He legitimately hit 100 mph twice, and was 97 mph on the low end. The one ball was an 89 mph splitter that had sick break and dropped off the table, and Curtis Granderson just managed to hold up on it. This was the Morrow who posted a 1.47 ERA, a WHIP under 1 and 47 strikeouts in 36 2/3 innings as a reliever last season.

Um, could you say this destroyed any qualms I had with my acquisition? Yes. To be honest, I’d simply like a K/per inning with 22 saves and I’ll be happy. Cameron can be a beast for Zegen and that’s fine. Also, I’m not sure he’s planning on hitting .300 for the season. Just a guess.

Dropped Emmanuel Burriss

As much as this hurts, I don’t really need him currently. He was just moved back to eighth in the Giants lineup, and their are other options on waivers who have as much upside if not more. Plus he just can’t hit.

Activated Scott Baker

After stashing Scotty on my DL through his terrible starts, I feel confident that I will play him against the Rays. Much like I’m confident that he’ll probably get thrashed, but hell, what do I care? It’s just my precious ratios, right?

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Hi, I’m Bill.  I’m the ignoramus who signed Carlos Silva to a FOUR YEAR 48 MILLION DOLLAR deal.  To give you a better idea of why I should be fired and take my terrible manager with me, we’ll play a game. For every point that Bavasi or the Mariners players attain, the more blame goes their way.

Carlos Silva

Career Line:

IP: 1022
K: 423
H: 1221
ERA: 4.44
WHIP: 1.38
BAA: .300

Notice the 200 hits more than innings pitched! Also, the sparkling .300 Batting Average Against! That’s not a typo. In his major league career, Carlos Silva has let ALL of his opponents bat .300 against him. That’s an awful number. Almost impossible to ignore. Bavasi apparently did. To the tune of 12 million dollars a year. A terrible signing bested only by The Incomparable Sabean and Zito the Great.

Score: Bavasi 1, Mariners 0

Richie Sexson

Need some good old power hitting? Look no further than…sorry, scratch that, look further, look into the fucking solar system, look anywhere but at Richie Sexson. He has been putrid, and the fact that Seattle couldn’t land another power bat to platoon with Sexson (or mercifully end his career with a vicious knee-cap Kerrigan-style) says something about Bavasi. In plain English, he and his staff cannot address inherent flaws in the Mariner’s offense, even with a 117 million dollar payroll. Why else would Jose Vidro be batting clean-up or 5th on any planet on any team in the world-o-sphere? Points for Bavasi and the Mariners, as a point can be made that Sexson should be playing better than a dog with three legs.

Score: Bavasi 2, Mariners 1

Erik Bedard

He’s on my team, I know the pain he brings to the table. Is he hurt? Maybe? The Mariner’s ain’t sayin’ squat, so my guess is as good as yours. One start he’s untouchable, the next he’s the kid from Rookie of the Year Pre-Injury/Post-Recovery of Normal Skill Set. He’s like Oliver Perez Lite. Points against the Mariners, simply because Bedard was supposed to be my ace this year.

Score: Bavasi 2, Mariners 2

Jarrod Washburn, Miguel Batista

Really? These guys are still pitching professionally? Really? Why/How? This has got to be all Bavasi. This reads as a bad joke, so there’s no use in trying. Two points for Bavasi for each horrible veteran starter retained.

Score: Bavasi 4, Mariners 2

John McLaren

His managing skills are Yost-like. Also, he waited until the Mariners were 18 1/2 games behind the Los Angeles Angel of Anaheim of Greater Disneyworldland to scream at his team. Puzzled? Count me in. If you are TEN games back, I believe every last one of your players should be sent from the stadium in tears. Especially Carlos Silva and Richie Sexson. Too little too late, McLaren. You’re more useless than Bob Geren.

Score: Bavasi 5, Mariners 2


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Paul Bako was definitely hit in the taint just now.

Good god. And he’s still catching.

Cueto is getting owned by Jason Kendall. Also, I really dislike Kenji Johjima right now. He just threw it into the outfield, allowing BJ Upton to score from home on a double steal. Idiot. And Bedard was charged with the runs, I believe. That’s wonderful. Only things like this can cheer me up.

PS- I love you Cueto, even though you smell like hype.

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