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Posts Tagged ‘New York Mets’

I think everyone who spends their time accumulating make-believe statistics has had this moment, which happened to ME of all people last night:

Me: Hmm…Jermaine Dye has been sucking butt this year. But he did hit a homer the other night…but I’ll bench him tonight. He’s probably still slumping.

Reality: Hi, yeah, you should’ve started Dye. He went 2-4 with a homerun, 2 runs and 2 ribbies.

Me: Fantastic.

Yeah, that jonesing occurred just this past inning. What did I receive instead of that sterling line from Senor Jermaine? Well, a perfectly useless 1-4 night from Matt Stairs. Jones.

Just today, Slanch’s team was graced with a huge jones. Based on John Maine’s career 6.00 ERA at the hands of the Dodgers, Maine rode the pine today on Slanch’s bench. At which point he threw 8 1/3 innings allowing one run and striking out four.

That, my friends, is a jones.

In other news, I picked up Austin Kearns. Sounds pathetic, but with the new ballpark, he can’t be this bad. I chalk it up to a bad month and I still think he’s good for 20 home runs, which should help replace Corey Hart’s absence. And to be honest regarding Hart, I watched a bunch of his games and the only thing more apparent than Ned Yost’s horrible manager’s instinct is that Hart is not hitting for power. He’s hitting for the gaps this year, and after one home run in April I’m pretty sure I’m right. He could be good for 20 home runs, but I see him hitting more doubles this year.

Also, I picked up Jason Bartlett to spell my MI slot when Jeff Kent remembers he’s so old he can’t bend over. Cheap steals at MI is always a good thing, especially when trying to replace Him.

I miss you.

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Kyle Lohse is a shitbag. He really is. He was a terrible pitcher for the Minnesota Twins before finding his way onto the Cincinnati Reds. After stinking up that team, he departed for the St. Louis Cardinals, the veritable YMCA of major league teams.

And that’s when the fun began. Last year during the Met’s historic collapse, I went to see a game between the Cards and Mets at Shea. The starting pitcher for the Cards was Lohse, so a victory for the Mets seemed more than likely. Lohse had other ideas.

My dear friend Youppi, a life-long Mets freak, watched his team get NO HIT through 6 innings at least (it might have been 7 innings), prompting him to stand up and scream, “You’re getting no hit by KYLE LOHSE!!! KYLE FUCKING LOHSE!!!”

Now, I love my friend, but this was one of the most absurd pitching performances I’d ever seen. The guy doesn’t have overwhelming stuff, and his last name is pronounced like it should be spelled (Loshe).

Hence my fascination in that he currently BLANKING the Brewers today. Ryan Braun has a single, and everyone’s favorite middling white guy Craig Counsell has the other two hits for the Crew. Ouch. Meanwhile, the Cards have roughed up Manny Parra for 3 runs, with Ryan Ludwick doing most of the damage out of the 5-hole, going 3-3 with a homerun and a run scored.

This begs the question: Who gave Ludwick the right to put up significant fantasy numbers? He’s completely playing out of his head, and that pisses me off. He will regress back to the mean, and life will make a little more sense to me. Lohse’s success is still a mystery.

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