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Posts Tagged ‘Kansas City Royals’

After suffering through a number of serious mental health maladies related to my team and its inherent sucktitude, I’m back!  And so is my team, currently battling for 3rd place.  The league is so tight, that within a week I could probably be back in 10th place, but I refuse to accept the chaos of an unknown future and instead choose an optimistic, half-retarded future that involves me winning the league and/or beating Matt Berry in a Feel Sorry For Me Competition.

Not like anyone actually reads this thing anymore, but a few things have changed:

Trades

I made three semi-blockbuster trades, one of which has already blown up in my face (huzzah!)

Firstly, I was offered Brandon Phillips and Andrew Miller for Erik Bedard and Johnny Cueto.  It did not take me long to click accept on this trade.  Bedard won’t pitch until 2011, and Cueto is, well, Cueto.  Phillips has been okay, and Miller I dropped, but I still think I got the better end of this deal.

Secondly, I decided that Manny had to go.  I believed that his old Manny body would break down eventually.  I had the same thought with Kent.  He’s old.  After shopping him for weeks, I finally received Tim Hudson, Mike Gonzalez and Bobby Crosby for Manny Ram, Jeff Kent and Scott Downs.  Yes, I was raped in this trade, but Huddy’s actually trying to pitch through a ligament tear.  Dude’s a fucking gamer!  And Kent is still semi-broken, and who needs Scott Downs when I could pick up Ron Mahay?  Anywho, Gonzalez hasn’t gotten a chance to close in four years, and Manny has played well (but infrequently).  Hopefully hanging out with Andruw “The Curse” Jones won’t rub off on him the wrong way.

And thirdly, after picking up wunderchild Mike Aviles, I realized Pedroia was at the peak of his value for the season.  He was hitting at a bananas rate, something like .450 over a one-and-half-month period.  That’s fucking hitting.  I nabbed not only Ocab to fill in my SS hole, but John Danks for Pedroia and Andy Sonnanstine.  I feel like time will bear this one out, but I love having Ocab’s steals and runs.

Pick Up’s

I love vulturing people off the waiver wire.  Real good times, especially since Eick and Mattraw pitch a hissy because they “weren’t at their computers” when a new Tigers closer was announced (Rodney, got him!).  A lesson to them: You should always be at your computers, at all times.  Lord knows you couldn’t separate me from this thing with a backhoe.  Yeah.  Anyways, I grabbed the aforementioned Aviles, Billy Butler, Ty Wigginton, and Jerry Hairston, Jr to help fill out my line-up card.  Gotta love the multi-position eligibility.

Another reason I grabbed multi-position players is because I have 3 moves left on waivers.  That’s it.  Three.  I figure I don’t have much wiggle room left anyway, as I’ve been wiggling ever since Yovanni Gallardo and Furcal hit the DL for good.

Speaking of the DL, the Big Hurt just came off it and I’m chancing it by starting him tonight, hoping he can nail one of Wakefield’s errant Wuss…I mean, knucklers out of the park.  Cheap power is good power.

Also, John Lennon did not say “Cranberry Sauce” at the end of Strawberry Fields Forever.  He’s clearly saying, “Paul (Konerko) is dead.”

It’s true.

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And I’m talking about Cliff Lee and Brian Bannister here. For those not in the know, indeed, for those well outside the know, both of these pitchers are batshit insane. Before this season, Cliff Lee was that guy who won 18 games a couple years ago. His career ERA and WHIP are 4.46 and 1.34. His current ERA and WHIP? 0.28 and 0.41. That’s completely insane. Granted he just complete-gamed the living crap out of the Kansas City Royals(who were apparently confused when they realized that Mike Sweeney no longer played for the organization), but still, the guy was unhinged.

His counterpart is fantasy darling Brian Bannister, a darling for a different reason. All those Yahoo fantasy gurus (Brad Evans, Funston, Behrens) can talk about is Bannister’s smarts. Is it really such a tremendous fact that a baseball player acknowledges fantasy sports? Not in my book, but that’s beside the point; Bannister is a pitcher doomed to mediocrity. He’s lucky as all hell, and you can’t really play statistics with luck (nod, Dave Bush). His BAA is under .200 and I don’t care if you’re freaking Einstein, your smarts aren’t going to get you by if you don’t strike out or walk anyone. He is no Greg Maddux. His offense is mostly terrible (although improving by the Royals standards), and he is pitching in the second game of a late double-header. Perhaps I’m wrong, but all indicators point to a regression to the mean. He won’t be horrible, but he won’t superb. A perfect example of pristine, unsettled mediocrity. The hits will come, my friend, the hits will come.

So yeah, I wrote most of this last night as I watched Bannister get knocked out of the game late. Still, he pitched pretty well. I won’t go near him though. I’d rather have Einstein and his filthy 12-5 hammer!

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