Makin’ Moves

I gave up a three-run jack...TO A PITCHER

The first week of fantasy baseball is coming to a close, and my team is wonderfully hot and cold. One night I bash four homers (with 2 on the bench!), the next none. Thus is the first week.

Also, it happened again. Mike Cameron, on my bench, terrible career stats versus Randy Johnson. I start Randy Johnson. RJ gives up a solo shot to Cameron. On my bench. ALWAYS. HAPPENS. TO. ME.

Anyways, here are some roster tinkerings:

Dropped Andy Laroche for Emilio Bonifacio

There were some angry human beings in my league when I pulled this pick-up. Bonifacio had just stolen his second base, and I had been weighing whether or not to grab him for a week. This made it easier. Now if I could only have that homer and three steals…

Meanwhile, Laroche had a great spring and then started sucking. He could still be good this season, so this could come back to haunt me.

Dropped Jordan Zimmerman for Brandon Inge

Look, I drafted Ramon Hernandez. Need I say more? This gives me much better flexibility at catcher, and Inge also qualifies at 3B and OF in Yahoo leagues. Also, he has 25 homer potential. Yum.

Zimmerman will be dope for someone else’s team. And by dope, I mean he’ll have great K numbers, great ratios and no wins for the Nats.  He’s basically a carbon-copy of three pitchers I already have on my team.

Now I just have to make those stupid roster tinkering moves that make you want to smack yourself in the mouth.  Start Inge or sit him?  Will Hernandez hit two bombs on my bench and then never homer for the rest of the year?

Only time will smell.

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Today’s Ignorable Roster Move

Matt Treanor was signed by the Detroit “Weren’t We Supposed Be an Epically Great Team?” Tigers today. How the mighty have fallen.

Treanor will back up Gerald Laird, and be wonderfully useless.

Implications:

1. Who the hell is catching for the Marlins? John Baker? He swung a hot bat last year, but he’s no Charles Johnson.

2. This move pushes “Awesome Baseball Player Name” Dusty Ryan to the minors. Sad. Great catcher name, though.

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Hello, It’s Me

After suffering through a number of serious mental health maladies related to my team and its inherent sucktitude, I’m back!  And so is my team, currently battling for 3rd place.  The league is so tight, that within a week I could probably be back in 10th place, but I refuse to accept the chaos of an unknown future and instead choose an optimistic, half-retarded future that involves me winning the league and/or beating Matt Berry in a Feel Sorry For Me Competition.

Not like anyone actually reads this thing anymore, but a few things have changed:

Trades

I made three semi-blockbuster trades, one of which has already blown up in my face (huzzah!)

Firstly, I was offered Brandon Phillips and Andrew Miller for Erik Bedard and Johnny Cueto.  It did not take me long to click accept on this trade.  Bedard won’t pitch until 2011, and Cueto is, well, Cueto.  Phillips has been okay, and Miller I dropped, but I still think I got the better end of this deal.

Secondly, I decided that Manny had to go.  I believed that his old Manny body would break down eventually.  I had the same thought with Kent.  He’s old.  After shopping him for weeks, I finally received Tim Hudson, Mike Gonzalez and Bobby Crosby for Manny Ram, Jeff Kent and Scott Downs.  Yes, I was raped in this trade, but Huddy’s actually trying to pitch through a ligament tear.  Dude’s a fucking gamer!  And Kent is still semi-broken, and who needs Scott Downs when I could pick up Ron Mahay?  Anywho, Gonzalez hasn’t gotten a chance to close in four years, and Manny has played well (but infrequently).  Hopefully hanging out with Andruw “The Curse” Jones won’t rub off on him the wrong way.

And thirdly, after picking up wunderchild Mike Aviles, I realized Pedroia was at the peak of his value for the season.  He was hitting at a bananas rate, something like .450 over a one-and-half-month period.  That’s fucking hitting.  I nabbed not only Ocab to fill in my SS hole, but John Danks for Pedroia and Andy Sonnanstine.  I feel like time will bear this one out, but I love having Ocab’s steals and runs.

Pick Up’s

I love vulturing people off the waiver wire.  Real good times, especially since Eick and Mattraw pitch a hissy because they “weren’t at their computers” when a new Tigers closer was announced (Rodney, got him!).  A lesson to them: You should always be at your computers, at all times.  Lord knows you couldn’t separate me from this thing with a backhoe.  Yeah.  Anyways, I grabbed the aforementioned Aviles, Billy Butler, Ty Wigginton, and Jerry Hairston, Jr to help fill out my line-up card.  Gotta love the multi-position eligibility.

Another reason I grabbed multi-position players is because I have 3 moves left on waivers.  That’s it.  Three.  I figure I don’t have much wiggle room left anyway, as I’ve been wiggling ever since Yovanni Gallardo and Furcal hit the DL for good.

Speaking of the DL, the Big Hurt just came off it and I’m chancing it by starting him tonight, hoping he can nail one of Wakefield’s errant Wuss…I mean, knucklers out of the park.  Cheap power is good power.

Also, John Lennon did not say “Cranberry Sauce” at the end of Strawberry Fields Forever.  He’s clearly saying, “Paul (Konerko) is dead.”

It’s true.

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