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Posts Tagged ‘Cleveland Indians’

And I’m talking about Cliff Lee and Brian Bannister here. For those not in the know, indeed, for those well outside the know, both of these pitchers are batshit insane. Before this season, Cliff Lee was that guy who won 18 games a couple years ago. His career ERA and WHIP are 4.46 and 1.34. His current ERA and WHIP? 0.28 and 0.41. That’s completely insane. Granted he just complete-gamed the living crap out of the Kansas City Royals(who were apparently confused when they realized that Mike Sweeney no longer played for the organization), but still, the guy was unhinged.

His counterpart is fantasy darling Brian Bannister, a darling for a different reason. All those Yahoo fantasy gurus (Brad Evans, Funston, Behrens) can talk about is Bannister’s smarts. Is it really such a tremendous fact that a baseball player acknowledges fantasy sports? Not in my book, but that’s beside the point; Bannister is a pitcher doomed to mediocrity. He’s lucky as all hell, and you can’t really play statistics with luck (nod, Dave Bush). His BAA is under .200 and I don’t care if you’re freaking Einstein, your smarts aren’t going to get you by if you don’t strike out or walk anyone. He is no Greg Maddux. His offense is mostly terrible (although improving by the Royals standards), and he is pitching in the second game of a late double-header. Perhaps I’m wrong, but all indicators point to a regression to the mean. He won’t be horrible, but he won’t superb. A perfect example of pristine, unsettled mediocrity. The hits will come, my friend, the hits will come.

So yeah, I wrote most of this last night as I watched Bannister get knocked out of the game late. Still, he pitched pretty well. I won’t go near him though. I’d rather have Einstein and his filthy 12-5 hammer!

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It was awful, ten dollars for a piece-of-crap tool that I will use only to show its flaws to the outside world!!! The world must know!!!

Or, the world must know until Yahoo realizes I’m taking screenshots of service and they threaten to destroy my blog. I know I’m important, I’ve got a target on my back bigger than Joe Borowski’s ERA.

Speaking of which, see you later Joey. Also, please don’t take it personally when I demand that you place your balls in a vice and squeeze appropriately.

As everyone expected, Borowski collapsed. Hilariously, after allowing THREE HOME RUNS in FOUR INNINGS, his manager Eric Wedge refused to say that he lost the job, even when he’s back from his “injury.” What a fucking maniac.

Well, really, he’s my kind of maniac as I still own Borowski, and he’s now on the DL. What’s fun is that Gallardo will be coming off the DL soon, so I can switch those A-holes around without dropping anyone (Kevin Correia, I love you (Don’t you screw me tonight, Kev)). Meanwhile, I own Raphael Betancourt, J-Bor’s heir apparent. What, you really think I’m stupid enough to draft that guy without his handcuff? As long as Masa Kobayashi (he of the 200 or so saves in Japan) doesn’t spoil my fun, I have the saves covered.

More soon concerning my team’s rise from 12th to 5th place, and how I’ve already proven Shatraw’s prediction wrong (my team never rising above 6th place). Fun.

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