It’s Over

Some may think I’m crazy, but I’m not. My fantasy season is essentially over. In the only league that matters, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong.

Hmm, perhaps I’m being a little too dramatic here, but enjoy these little factoids:

1. Out of the 27 players I drafted, only 19 remain.

2. Of those 19 players, 4 have spent time on the DL.

3. I own Paul Konerko, Jeff Kent AND Frank Thomas, all aging morons who seemingly can’t hit out of a wet paper bag.

4. Raphael Betancourt now owns a 6.38 ERA and 1.47 WHIP in 16 innings. I drafted him to keep my ratios DOWN.

5. Every time James Shields throws a complete game, Erik Bedard comes back and gives up 8 runs. There is no way in fuck my team will have a sub-4.00 ERA this season (fuck you Raphael Betancourt).

6. I made a moronic trade, giving away the lights-out George Sherrill for Frank Thomas and Mike Napoli. Granted, the offensive contribution from Napoli has been grand, Thomas HAS YET TO HIT A SINGLE HOME RUN. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s turned into a singles hitter. Barf in my mouth.

7. Johnny Cueto has imploded. Every expert on the interwebs tells me to hold on to him. My head explodes every time I play him.

8. I am excited by Joe Borowski’s return.

That last one really sums it up.