Then you should go right ahead and visit this site, where a Barry Zito calculator will tell you how long you’ll have to work at your current profession to reach the zenith that is Barry’s 126 million dollar contract. I’d tell you my results, but a debilitating bout of depression and existential angst prevents me from doing so.
What in the hell in this bastard of a world could cheer me up? How about a picture of a screaming manager that is completely out of context with anything? Okay.
What’s wonderful about this picture? It looks as if Dusty Baker is being attacked by a swarm of invisible bees! What’s more, the umpire seems to have found a remedy to the crisis: By the angle of his leg kick, I think he’s decided to side-arm his scorecard directly in Dusty’s face. Awesome!!!
In other news, Slanch’s team is sticking to the top spot, obviously aided by a weak Monday schedule and a propensity to start his pitchers no matter what. What else could explain his gaudy KO numbers? How about the fact that he’s 50 IP over the limit already. Granted he can easily trade away one of his over-achievers (Olsen, Wolf, Maddux) or shitbag/strikeout maestro Chad Billingsely for some hitting, but whatevs.
I’m feeling for Eick right now. When I joined this league a bunch of years ago, he took the crown. Since then he hasn’t come even close to doing anything. From the start, we tried to prepare him mentally for such disappointment. He’s been in the cellar for quite some time now, and the way I see it, the best he’ll finish is 10th. So, if you have any down-time, check out his blog. At least he can watch his non-baseball hits grow.
i dont ALWAYS start my guys, but generally i do early in the season as i try and get a jump on stats and move forward, fortunately my era and whip are dope and i can soon enough be up almost 100 ks on the next guy. which is a position of power and strength.
50 innings over? thats nothing,
the other thing is that my rotation is still really pinched together and ill have no one pitch for three days but then 5 guys in one day.
my team is no fluke
[...] Martinez based almost solely on win totals*. Want to kill yourself yet? Try this link that my buddy Garnold found where you can see how many years at your current salary it would take to equal Barry [...]
enjoy your time at the top, slanch. you’re barely anywhere over anyone and most of your team is a mirage. if you make it until the end of may in first, it will have been your greatest moral victory, but that’s about as far as the slanch express rides before crashing into the wall that is known as “exposed for the mediocrity inherent in the team.”
im sorry, i cant hear you all the way down in the 60s